It Ends Tonight
by Open Casket Ceremony
Summary: Hitsugaya has been keeping a dark and dirty secret from Ichigo. IchiHitsu. M for lemon and rape.


Author's Note: Hoorah, another one-shot! I will be unactive for the next couple weeks, however, because I will be out of town for a while. So this is the last thing I'm going to post until then. Anyway, I'm not too sure what compelled me to write this particular fic, and it didn't turn out as nicely as I had pictured it in my mind. Also keep in mind this is my first lemon. It sucks, I know, I'm sorry. Oh yeah. And I do have a warning for everyone: RAPE AHOY! But tell me what you think, okay?

* * *

**It Ends Tonight**

**by Open Casket Ceremony**

* * *

There were a lot of things Ichigo didn't know about Hitsugaya Toshiro. And many of these things, he never _would_ know at all.

He was a very mysterious soul reaper, and the fact that he rarely opened up and always kept to himself was not of much help. Ichigo didn't want to pressure him into saying anything though, in fear of pushing the already distant boy even further away.

Today was no exception.

As usual, on a busy weekday evening, Hitsugaya would be filling out paperwork quietly at his desk, in deep, undistracted conversation. Ichigo would patiently wait on the couch, dozing off every now and then. And when the prodigy was done with his work for the day, normally, the two would have a little chat, have something to eat, and, depending on the mood of the little captain, sometimes Ichigo would accompany him for a stroll around the Seiretei.

This particular evening, it was later than usual, and Ichigo noticed that Hitsugaya still was not done.

"Toshiro?"

The office was silent, until finally. Hitsugaya decided to reply.

"What is it?"

"You're not done yet, are you?"

"Far from it."

"How come?"

"Because that's the way it is."

With a mischevious grin, Ichigo crossed the room towards the busy captain's desk, casually moving behind him and placing his hands on the slim shoulders, gripping them gently.

"Kurosaki," Hitsugaya demanded, his hand hovering in mid-air, still clutching the brush, "What are you doing?"

"What do you think?" Ichigo answered softly, giving his shoulders a gentle but firm squeeze, then again, and again, moving across the delicate shoulder-blades in a fluid, mechanical motion. "I'm giving you a massage...for free."

"Well, stop it," the snow-haired boy growled, obviously not pleased, "I'm trying to work."

"Come on, Toshiro. Loosen up a bit. You're so tense."

"I don't have time for this, Kurosaki."

"Oh, yes you do."

"Kurosaki!" Hitsugaya snapped, turning his head to look at the snickering strawberry, "Don't make me repeat myself-"

He was cut off in mid-sentence as, taking advantage of the split second in which he had turned his head, Ichigo had sealed his lips with a sudden, abrupt, kiss, preventing him from saying anything more than what the strawberry wanted to hear.

Ignoring the annoyed prodigy's muffled protests, Ichigo proceeded to give Hitsugaya a soft shove, which was at least hard enough to push his back against the wooden desktop.

"You're stressed out, Toshiro," the substitute shinigami teased, pinning the irritated captain to the desk by the wrists, "And stress is bad for you! Your hair will all turn white...not that it already hasn't," he snickered. "Luckily for you, though...I think I know how to fix that."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Before he could scold the strawberry any further, Hitsugaya's eyes widened the slightest as he felt Ichigo's warm hands on his face, then on his neck, before they moved mischeviously to the collar of his kimono, slipping them off of his shoulders with a tug.

"Kurosaki...!"

"Calm down, I know what I'm doing."

He didn't like the feeling of his robes falling from his shoulders. They weren't where they belonged. He knew where Ichigo was taking this, and he...didn't like it.

He was quiet, though, as his hakama followed suit - and there he was, only half-clothed, on his beloved administrative desk, with the strawberry planting kisses up and down his body. A shiver ran down his spine. This didn't feel right. It felt like...

"Kurosaki, stop," Hitsugaya whispered, drawing his disarrayed robes shut around his body. "I...I don't want this."

"Huh?" Suprised, Ichigo paused, his chocolate eyes meeting Hitsugaya's teal orbs. He was slightly startled to see fear in the wide, aquamarine irises.

"I said, stop," Hitsugaya repeated, a little more firmly this time.

"Oh, come on," the strawberry urged before moving in for another deep kiss, "It's alright."

"No, it's not alright," Hitsugaya answered quietly, such that his response didn't even reach the orange-haired teen's ears.

He felt Ichigo's hands on his bare legs, pulling them carefully apart. Another kiss on his neck, then on his chest.

He knew Ichigo wasn't trying to hurt him.

But he still felt so uncomfortable and dirty like this. He didn't like this at all. He stiffened, pressing his legs back together, turning away from Ichigo as he stubbornly tried to pull the folds of his dissheveled robes shut again. "Don't," he murmured.

"Relax, Toshiro," Ichigo answered quietly in what he hoped was a reassuring voice, gently stroking the prodigy's pretty white locks. "I'll try not to make it hurt, okay?"

"Don't," Hitsugaya insisted again.

"Don't worry."

Hitsugaya's eyes widened as he felt the subsitute shinigami's hands move to the one place he did _not_ want them to be.

"No!" he blurted out, "K-Kurosaki! Please don't..."

Ichigo stopped immediately, his eyes wide upon hearing the panic in the boy's voice. Slowly, he drew his hands back to his sides, eyes cast down to the floor. "I'm sorry, Toshiro. I won't push you any more if you're not ready...It's your first time, after all, and I don't want to do anything to hurt you."

"No, it isn't."

"It isn't what?"

There was a long and uncomfortable silence before Hitsugaya finally spoke again.

"...It isn't my first time."

"O-Oh..." Ichigo looked a little embarassed, before reaching out to stroke the pure white locks of hair again.

"I'm sorry, Toshiro. I really am. I won't do that again."

"It's alright. If only you understood..."

Hitsugaya wanted desperately to tell Ichigo. To tell him just why he could not bear to, or bring himself to allow the strawberry to make love to him. It wasn't as if he didn't like Ichigo - because he did. It was something else, something that had happened long ago. Something that haunted him, and something that he wished to, but could not, tell Ichigo.

"Toshiro..." Ichigo began hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"...I love you."

_**I love you.**_

_**I love you...**_

* * *

_"I love you, Hitsugaya-kun."_

_The young, at that time newly-appointed captain of the tenth division knew these words meant nothing and had no purpose other than to humiliate him more than he already was._

_"What are you...!?"_

_The young prodigy's eyes widened with panic as the pair unwanted hands grasped at his hair, his face, clothes, his body. The untouched, unspoiled porcelain complexion was falling victim to these greedy hands, which moved to his mouth to muffle the muted pleas for help._

_"Stop it!" Hitsugaya cried desperately, struggling against the grip of his captor as his garments were shed, leaving a remorseful pile of black and white fabric on the floor. Tears stung at the edge of his eyes, threatening to fall. "Let go of me!"_

_"I don't think I will. I'm reluctant to let such a pretty little one as yourself get away before I'm finished."_

_Finished? Finished with what? The innocent mind was filled with confusion._

_"What are you..."_

_A shock of pain cut the child off in mid-sentence. Biting back a scream, Hitsugaya squeezed his eyes shut. He knew what his captor was doing to him with his hands. The humiliation was almost as bad as the terrible sensation between his legs._

_Then something thick and wet was probing at his entrance - the man's tongue!?_

_"No!" he pleaded, trying to squirm away, "Please don't do this...Aizen-taichou!"_

_"Don't worry, Hitsugaya-kun," came the sickeningly mocking voice of the then-fifth-division-captain, "I'll make you feel good..."_

_The intruding fingers and tongue continued to do their dirty work between the quivering boy's legs._

_"Go ahead, Hitsugaya-kun. Go ahead and scream for me. You know you want to."_

_Hitsugaya let out nothing more than a choked sob as finally, Aizen stopped, only to push the boy roughly to the ground such that he was on his hands and knees. He wouldn't scream. He wouldn't. Hitsugaya was using all his willpower to keep as quiet as he could, lest he allow the much older man the satisfaction of taking his last shred of dignity. His whole body was shaking with fear. He was praying in his mind that this was the end of things, and Aizen was done and would leave him alone. It semed like no one was there to listen to his prayers today._

_Suddenly, pain exploded through Hitsugaya's small body as something much larger and thicker made its devastating entrance. A muffled cry and a soft whimper fell from the delicate lips._

_He couldn't take it anymore. The pain was too much. Tears were spilling from the agonized emerald eyes. It hurt too much. He couldn't hold it in anymore. Finally, after an intentionally and particularly cruel and deep inward thrust from Aizen, a scream was torn from the young captain's throat._

_"N-No...Please...Stop..."_

_His pleas for mercy were met by a deaf ear, and the pain only worsened. Soon enough, it was unbearable, worse than any wound he had ever recieved on the battlefield from a hollow or other kind of enemy. Except this time, the enemy was a colleague. Someone he had looked up to. Someone who had showered him with false kindness before, that he had completely fallen for. Someone who he had trusted. _

_"Come on, Hitsugaya-kun. Let's hear that pretty little scream again."_

_And this sinister fifth-division-captain got what he wanted. He would hear that pitiful, agonized scream many more times that evening. Too many times for the poor boy who was subjected to these sinful desires of lust and greed._

_At last, exhausted and in pain, much to his relief, Hitsugaya finally blacked out. It was the only way to save himself from this humiliation._

_He had lived all those following years, wanting to pretend that it had never happened. He never told anyone, not Hinamori, not Matsumoto, and certainly, up until this time, not Ichigo. That worked out just as well for Aizen; no one would ever know of the crime he had committed. _

_And it would stay like this forever._

_Yet another thing that Ichigo did not, and would never, know about Hitsugaya Toshiro._


End file.
